The Meeting That Changed How I See Conflict

It was a regular Tuesday meeting. The coffee was lukewarm, the agenda was routine, and then—tension. Two team members, both passionate and committed, disagreed. Not just a quiet difference of opinion. This was sharp. Voices tightened. The air got heavy. You could feel the discomfort ripple across the room.

My instinct was to shut it down. Smooth it over. Keep the peace. But something in me said, “This is a pressure cooker. We can either process it or let it erupt later.”

That moment became a turning point. I realized that avoiding conflict might quiet things down, but it doesn’t resolve or heal anything. It just pushes the pressure deeper. That day, I felt a shift in my spirit. Conflict isn’t something to fear. It’s something to steward.

1. Conflict Restores Real Peace—Not Just Quiet

Unspoken tension lingers like static. Even when no one names it, everyone feels it. I’ve walked into rooms where the silence was louder than words. People smile politely, but underneath, there’s a river of discomfort.

When leaders step in with humility and courage, they begin to activate real peace. Not just the absence of noise, but the presence of understanding. It happens when someone finally says, “Can we talk about what’s been bothering us?” and the room exhales. That’s when real peace actually begins.

And when peace is present, something else opens up: people begin to speak honestly, listen deeply, and bring their full selves to the table. That’s where creativity and breakthrough ideas start to emerge.

2. Conflict Brings Out Wisdom from Every Voice

Handled well, conflict becomes a space for learning. I remember a time when a disagreement over a project timeline led to one of the most insightful strategy shifts we’d ever made. One person saw the risk. Another saw the opportunity. Together, they built a better plan.

Proverbs says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” When we listen during conflict, we don’t just get better ideas, we build trust. We show people their voices. And when people feel heard and valued, they’re more willing to take risks, share bold ideas, and challenge the status quo in ways that move the mission forward.

3. Conflict Builds Trust That Goes Deeper

I hate to admit this, but there was a season when a team member and I had a lingering tension. We were both polite and professional, but distant and self-protective. Finally, we sat down and had a hard conversation. It wasn’t fun. There were tears. But afterward, something shifted. We didn’t just work better together; we began to trust each other.

With truth and grace, relationships grow deeper and stronger. Unity doesn’t mean everyone agrees. It means people choose respect, forgiveness, and collaboration even when it isn’t deserved. That kind of trust creates a culture where people feel safe to speak up, challenge ideas, and bring their best thinking forward.

4. Conflict Strengthens How Teams Work

Every disagreement is a chance to grow. I’ve watched teams evolve not despite it, but because of, these hard conversations. Like muscles built through resistance, they became more solid and powerful.

Eventually, the process gets smoother. Conversations become quicker. Responses calmer. Confidence is stronger. And the team starts to believe, “We can handle this. We’ve done it before.” That confidence fuels innovation. When people know they can disagree and still be respected, they stop holding back. They start creating.

Final Thought

Conflict is inevitable, but division doesn’t have to be. Courageous, values-based leaders know that reconciliation is always possible. The belief that “this can’t be resolved” is a dangerous limiting belief. We are called to lead with truth, grace, and the conviction that resolution is always within reach.

And if you’re a person of faith, start the whole conversation with prayer. Ask the Spirit of God to guide you, give you wisdom, and soften and open the hearts of everyone involved. Then step forward with courage, knowing that peacemaking is part of your calling.  Great leaders don’t avoid tension, like a pearl, to bring forth a greater value.